Wendy Lyons Sunshine on how to use parenting techniques that help at-risk children with dogs, and helping dogs fit into the family.
By Zazie Todd PhD
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In Tender Paws: How Science-Based Parenting Can Transform Our Relationship With Dogs, Wendy Lyons Sunshine draws on the psychological research on attachment, parenting styles, and related fields to explore how we can use it to improve our relationship with dogs. From choice of training methods to thinking about our dog’s needs, this guide will make you reflect on your own upbringing and any parenting of human children that you’ve done. It’s easy-to-read with plenty of case studies and parenting tips, designed to help you be a better pet guardian.
You can hear Wendy Lyons Sunshine talk about the book at Bark! Fest, the book festival for animal lovers. She’s on a panel called Caring for Dogs with Pilley Bianchi, Wendy Lyons Sunshine, and Carri Westgarth.
Tender Paws is available from all good bookstores, including via Bookshop (and Bookshop UK) which support independent bookstores, as well as my Amazon store.
Below, Wendy answers my questions about the book.
Why did you write this book?
Tender Paws grew out of my own ignorance and frustrations while trying to raise a rescue puppy. Standard guides didn’t have the answers I sought, so I needed to look elsewhere, and was fortunate to discover inspiration from parenting experts with whom I’d worked. Dr. Karyn Purvis and Dr. David Cross had exceptional skill and success in helping adoptive parents improve outcomes for at-risk children; their method is called Trust Based Relational Intervention.
What are the main themes of your book?
This book shows that we can actually borrow parenting wisdom and use it to improve outcomes and bring out the best in dogs. It delves into the practical implications of dogs’ unique parent-child relationship with humans. It even explores how, by thinking about our own parenting style and considering how we were raised ourselves, it can help lead us to more informed dog training and management decisions.
What surprised you while you were writing the book?
I was amazed at the depth of scientific and real-world parallels across so many different fields—including attachment neurobiology, trauma science, child development, learning theory, behavioral modification, and parenting styles—all revealing how the human-dog relationship has much in common with the parent-child relationship. And we can use these parallels to advantage with the dogs that live with us.
Tell me something about your writing process and how it shaped this book.
My process is both geeky and sociable! I love digging into scientific studies, and I especially enjoyed interviewing dozens of animal behavior experts and dog enthusiasts to gather fascinating and eye-opening stories.
Who will especially enjoy this book?
This book is for dog lovers who want a unique and richer perspective on the human-dog connection, and practical principles to help dogs fit into human families. Tender Paws would make a great gift for pet parents. Dr. Temple Grandin, author of Animals Make Us Human says it’s “especially helpful for people who are getting new puppies or adopting traumatized rescue dogs.”
What are you working on right now?
I’ve got a dog-related article in the works for The Wall Street Journal!
“This book is for dog lovers who want a unique and richer perspective on the human-dog connection.”
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