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Sarah Chauncey on coping with the loss of a pet, the drawing that became the start of the book, and being counterintuitive.
By Zazie Todd PhD
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The grief we feel on the loss of a pet is still a kind of disenfranchised grief. Sarah Chauncey’s PS. I Love You More Than Tuna is a poignant and touching meditation on pet loss, beautifully illustrated by Francis Tremblay. It’s the perfect gift for anyone who has lost a cat, or indeed any kind of pet. It made me cry (but in a good way) and I have given it to friends to help bring them comfort when they have lost their pet.
You can hear Sarah Chauncey talk about the book at Bark! Fest, the book festival for animal lovers. She’s on a panel called Our Bond with Cats with Sarah Chauncey, Sassafras Patterdale (Lowrey), and Rachel Wells.
P.S. I Love You More Than Tuna is available from all good bookstores, including via Bookshop (and Bookshop UK) which support independent bookstores, as well as my Amazon store.
Below, Sarah Chauncey answers my questions about the book, and shares the drawing that started it all.
Why did you write this book?
When my first soul-cat, Hedda, died in 2016, I couldn’t find much online that addressed pet loss grief, especially around cats. An artist friend of mine sent me a sketch of Hedda with a note “from” her that ended “p.s. I love you more than tuna.” Through my tears, I thought that would be a great name for a pet loss gift book, and the vision was born.
Our relationships with animals are unique—pets see and accept aspects of us we’d be hesitant to show another human. Yet we live in a culture that largely denies the power of the human-animal bond, so when an animal friend dies, friends and family often don’t know what to say, or they say unhelpful things, like “Can’t you just get another one?” I wanted Tuna to offer readers consolation and inspiration—and their friends, the buyers, the ability to offer tangible comfort.
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| The original sketch by Francis Tremblay that ultimately led to this book. |
What are the main themes of your book?
That everything that is born eventually dies. Saying goodbye is painful, and we have to grieve, but it doesn’t mean anything is wrong. This is just part of the human life experience, like love.
The first law of thermodynamics says that energy can’t be created or destroyed; it can only change form. Like us, our animals are stardust—the iron in their blood, like the iron in ours, is the same mineral that makes Mars red. A caterpillar has to die in form before a butterfly can emerge from the exact same organic material. So even though our animal friends’ bodies are gone, the life energy that animated them is not. It’s all around us, always.
What surprised you while you were writing the book?
How little it actually had to do with ‘writing’. I’ve been a professional creative writer for almost 40 years, and the first draft came pouring out in about two hours (the book only contains 500 words). By contrast, as many of my friends have pointed out, my average email contains at least twice that number!
It’s funny that my most visible ‘success’ happened with very little of my own input. Yet—this is my surprise at the response—nearly every reader has said that it made them cry in a good way and helped them to heal. That was true while I was writing it, too—I cried every time I read the lines.
Tell me something about your writing process and how it shaped this book.
TUNA was different than anything I’d ever written before. That I could somehow write something that turned out to be so powerful in less than 500 words still amazes me.
To pay the bills, I’m a private writing coach and developmental editor, and with that hat on, my process tends to be “spend a lot of time in nature and with animals,” because both of those allow my mind to quiet down and my subconscious to offer up ideas. I’ve written more about this on Jane Friedman’s site and for Writer’s Digest (July/August 2024).
Who will especially enjoy this book?
First, anyone who is grieving the loss of a cat, who anticipates losing a cat, or who loves cats. That’s the most obvious audience. I thought it would only be the first group, but readers have told me that even people with healthy young cats have appreciated it.
Although the main character is a cat, the book has been given to people grieving all kinds of animal friends, from dogs to bunnies, birds, horses and ferrets (among others). The cat’s journey is a metaphor for all of us, human and non-human alike.
The idea was/is for friends, family, neighbours and colleagues to give this book to someone who is grieving; that part grew out of my own experience with a daily giving practice. The practice brings me so much joy that I wanted to share that, too. Of course, it’s fine for anyone to buy the book for themselves, too!
What are you working on right now?
On the Tuna front, I have a Substack where I share tips on caring for a senior or ill pet, preparing for the eventual loss, and navigating that loss. I only send about one newsletter a month, but there’s a lot of helpful content in the archive.
My passion project, The Counterintuitive Guide to Life, comes from thousands of notes I took over the course of seven years of solitary contemplation and deep inner work. It’s about helping people find inner peace by learning how to question their conditioning and release what isn’t serving them. Many of us go through life on autopilot—I certainly did for decades—without questioning why we are so rigid around certain beliefs or why we behave in particular ways. In my experience, finding peace is a combination of slowing way down, developing self-awareness skills, unpacking our conditioning, and learning to navigate the inherent paradoxes of life. These also contribute to creating a more equitable world. My intention is that this will eventually lead to a Counterintuitive Guide book series.
And of course, I’m still working as a developmental editor and writer coach, much of which I do with my current cat, Ariel, perched on my lap.
Every week, I make a point of spending at least one day immersed in nature. I live on the traditional and unceded territory of the Coast Salish peoples and the Snuneymuxw First Nation, and I am grateful to be able to explore untouched nature regularly.
“Although the main character is a cat, the book has been given to people grieving all kinds of animal friends.”
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